I think I made a mistake.
I think I gave him the wrong impression.

But isn't that what it's all about: Impressions.  I am constantly giving someone else an impression of me.  A lot of the time our impressions of others are wrong.  We speak without thinking.  We judge others based on appearance or jobs or how they speak or how they spend their time.  Very rarely do we see the whole picture.  Very rarely do we allow anyone close enough to see the "true" me. 

What kind of impressions am I giving off...really?  Am I always putting my best foot forward?  Am I making a conscious effort to allow others to see Jesus in me?  Because, if I am a Christian and if I am spending my time where I should be, then isn't this what others will see?  I'm not perfect, but that's where I should be striving...to reflect the love of Christ...to reflect the character of Christ.  The impression that others get of me should in fact be the impression of Christ.  But how often I fail.  How often I allow my wounded self to be the picture that others take away instead of the perfect picture of Christ. 

How often I allow my thoughts and feelings to affect my impression of others.  How often I judge them based on my standards instead of allowing God to show me how he feels.  Instead of seeing God's view of others.  Sometimes, I just need the lenses in my glasses changed.  I need to look through God eyes, instead of human eyes.   Only then can I see a person for who he truly is.

So what if I gave him the wrong impression.  That can be fixed with a few words.  What I need to be concerned about is his judgment of me.  What he sees when he looks at me.  What he hears when he hears me talk.  It had better be Christ and not me or else it's not worth it.  It had better be the "real me" and not that impostor I like to show others.  I  had better be reflecting Christ in my actions, words, and deeds. 

I Love...

• empty desk drawers waiting to be filled
• files with labels (in a drawer I use, but rarely open)
• boxes of clothes that are too big
• presents ready to give
• a clean office at work
• a quiet building to work in
• files that are complete and put away
• reorganizing spaces and suddenly finding you have more room
• free lunch at Olive Garden (thanks to my secret pal)
• lunch with a friend
• easy to read measuring cups
• a new travel bag
• an Alaskan vacation to look forward to
• planning for the Alaskan vacation
• finishing up my work for the year
• no school work to complete at home

Last night we graduated our first group of seniors.  These are the kids that were in the fifth grade the year I started.  I was more emotional about it than I expected.  But, the truth is...I have a lot of memories with the kids.  I mean, in a way, we all grew up together.  The valedictorian stated it right when he said that the class was like a family and the teachers were what made it such a good experience for them.  I look at our school and this group of students and I know that we have all been through so much together. 

One of the students gave me a big hug after the program.  He thanked me for all I had done to help him get there.  Not that I feel like I did that much for him, but his story is so special.  Three years ago, he approached me at parent orientation.  It was his first year at my school.  He asked me if he would be able to graduate from my school.  Someone at his old school told him he wouldn't be able to graduate.  I told him that as long as he passed his classes he would definitely graduate.  Last night, that became reality. 

Another one of the students, I tutored in math in fifth grade.  He passed the math test that year.  His mother still swears I am the reason why.  I would guess it was a little bit of my tutoring and a lot of lucky guessing, but it was great watching him walk across the stage last night.

Two of the other students have been in my class for the past seven years.  I have watched them mature and grow.  I have watched them struggle through biology and learn how to write.  It is a real achievement for all of these students to have come so far and I know that they will do great things.  All of the students I have worked with are going to college in the fall and it makes me very proud of their accomplishments.

I know I won't feel like this every year.  A lot of the kids I work with will move away and go to other high schools.  I know there will be special graduations and special years as I see accomplishments being made.  I also know there will be years that I don't know any of the seniors beyond name and/or face.  But, no matter how many years come and go, how many graduations take place, or how many students come and go through my class, I know that I will never forget this group of students, because they are the first. 

I pray their futures will be blessed and that each and every one of them will come into contact with the maker of their future and mine: Jesus Christ.  I pray that I will continue to be a light to the future generations that I come into contact with on a daily basis.  I pray that I never forget that I am serving Him above all.  May my service to Him include serving these kids and helping them become productive members of society.  May I never loose the passion I have had these past eight years.  May I continue to struggle and try to find new ways to reach kids and teach them the things they need to be successful.  May the love of Christ shine through me so that others will see and know that He alone is God. Amen.